Tuesday, June 21, 2011

{Virtual Coffee}

Oh my, it feels like so long since we've sat down for coffee. I've been just going through things, living life, trying to find a way to better manage my time but I think this is just a cycle where I am learning more about myself and that I will find some balance when and as it moves forward. If we were meeting for coffee today I would first tell you about my coffee meeting last Tuesday with The Queen of Arts a.k.a. The Rock Fairy.

We sat outside and had a little friend come and share our crumbs.

The Queen and I are connected in ways that defy words so it is always a healing time when we see each other in person and just talk. She talked me through my perfect day and it was an interesting experience getting all the details down. I am learning it is important to have the details when you are building a dream.

The details in these iced coffees, which is how we ended our time together, include a bit of vanilla soft ice cream and mocha syrup.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would tell you I have been feeling bouts of complete hopelessness. Where my stomach sinks low and my head expands in grief about how hard this life can be. I would tell you how scary this is and how necessary it is to talk about it because I think a lot of people feel that way from time to time and just acknowledging it makes me aware of how transitional the feelings are. I might put it down to aging which is a subject that has also been hitting me hard lately. I am learning lessons about loving my body the way it is without trying to fix its brokenness. And about the awareness behind what I choose to put in it. (I might leave out how, by 9:20 a.m. I have already put in two chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.) I would also confess that I feel like I'm evolving into a proper eccentric old crone.

I might tell you that I darkened the doorway of a Wal-Mart recently, something I haven't done in well over a year. I would tell you I was looking for an inexpensive bowl - something I needed for a pot-luck and something I wouldn't mind leaving behind if I had to. And to my surprise I found this beautiful red plastic bowl for under two dollars.

But the best part was that it was made in the USA and NOT in China. Thumbs up for Wal-Mart this week.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would show you Eyesore #2 which appeared in my backyard one afternoon.

I have already written about Eyesore #1 which, at the time, was simply named The Eyesore. I never imagined I would have to start numbering these things. I would ask you how you could live with someone and have such opposite ideas of what is tasteful. And you would agree that since my backyard is small, it really is no place for such a monstrosity. Is it too much to ask to be consulted when choices are made about shared living space?

If we were meeting for coffee today at least one of us would be sneezing a lot as pollen is thick in the air and coating just about everything with orange. I would tell you about a dead bumble bee Riley and I saw and the absolute saddle bags of pollen on his legs

and speculate that this was probably the reason behind his crash landing.

And speaking of crash landings, it would be the perfect segue into telling you how I was called upon to learn how to gift wrap a hula hoop this week.

After not being able to find a gift bag big enough, I tried googling "how do I gift wrap a hula hoop". I don't know if I was more astonished to see there were actually postings about it or that many people (obviously) thought it was worthy of putting out there. And I even delivered it on my bike which completes the circle on the subject of crash landings.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would tell you I reconnected with an old friend this weekend while out on another mission. We used to laugh about how we would likely end up giving each other blue rinses and we drank a lot of tea back in the days.

And I would say that I think we still look like a pair of hot chicklets.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would share that I have dipped deep into animal totems and am finding it such a rich, rich world. I would tell you that some whale medicine has called up multiple bear lessons that I need to heed.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would tell you that school lets out in three days and I am going to relish every second of this time of year. I am going to breath and feel and dance and squint up into the sun and then go and sit in the shade with my hot flashes.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would show you this video

my friend, Cheryl, shared with me before heading over to Amy's at Lucky Number 13 to see if she has the kettle on.


Snap said...

Where to start? Glad you spent time with the Queen. The hula hoop has me giggling. Poor bee .. we need all the bees we can get. Here's to CRONES. Yes, to hot chicklets. Your eyesore would be appreciate by many here who would delight in being out of the sun. Here's to more chocolate!

Cheryl said...

Since I don't do well with the sun but love being outdoors, the eyesore would be welcomed. I believe, however, that it could be smaller! Glad you liked the video! I'm also thrilled to see you back, missed you.

oreneta said...

Bodhi! What a lot is going on!!!! Hugs more than anything else. Hang tough....it's summer anyway!

When are you in TO? I'd love to meet up!

Matawheeze said...

After years of Sufi-dancing as a spiritual practice I got used to muttering "This too shall pass" when I felt that hopeless despair. Now I am older and the thought of HOW it shall pass gets a bit scary and I want to cling to even the haopless bits. You ARE right... we need to share the feelings and be a network of Crones with Attitude!

thecatalanway said...

Hi there Great to have you back! Loads to say but too late at night to say it. Lovely to see your photos, you don't look a day over 30 ( hope you're not 29!) really funny video clip, I know all about EYESORES and having to bite my tongue but sometimes not being able to.....droopy body parts oh my god I saw my right knee yesterday in bright light and even without squidging the flesh together it had the look of a deflated balloon. Great to hear the animals are coming to the rescue. I too have started looking for soul medicine - in the Women Who Dance with Wolves Book. And it is powerful stuff. Somewhere she says that there is no profound healing without an initial descent into the darkness. So....here we go! Lots of love K x

Moomser said...

Those iced coffees look yummy!
Thanks for coffee and a lovely post as usual. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time, the only thing I can say, and I hope it doesn't sound staid, is things will get better - they always do.

Elisa Black said...

OMG I am hysterical laughing at that video-- I can totally relate and I'm [only] 45!! What will become of me when I go thru the change?? (I'm starting to see subtle signs). Glad you had some nice visits with old friends. Great shot of the bee with the pollen pockets on its legs! I like the peace wrap that you did for the hula hoop! Sorry to hear you are having a difficult period with anxiety-- not fun. But its great that you are acknowledging and talking about it-- because burying/avoiding it only makes it worse. This, too, shall pass-- easier to say than to do, but you live and learn and grow [stronger] from the difficult periods. Hoepfully you can find caring and support from your real life and blog friends. Have a good week!

Paula said...

I have always loved your virtual coffees...but this has got to be one of the best! You and the queen both look radiant; so glad you had time together. The hula hoop is an absolute riot! And, yes, you are a pair of hot chicklets!!! As for hot flashes, been there and done that. I don't think I'll ever forget Phil waking me up to say, "Do you have any idea how much heat you're putting out?" It's a miracle he's still alive.

Kim Mailhot said...

So grateful to have had a little previous time with you, my friend. Keep soaking up those brilliant moments of connection, and focus on the beauties rather than the eye sores when you can. Sending you lots of light and live, beautiful One!

Jade @ Tasting Grace said...

I love how you wrapped the hula hoop! I'm sorry you're going through a tough spot, but I'm glad it seems you're getting some very good time spent with your girl friends.

And animal totems? Please explain!

redheadreverie said...

You are definitely still on hot chicklet! I believe everyone at one time or another has had that hopeless feeling me included. Hang in there. And as for that hoola hoop wrapping. AWESOME! Have a great week and if you feel like you are falling may you land softly.

Sherry Smyth said...

I love it when you meet with the Queen - you both look amazingly beautiful! And I love that you connected with an old friend...you know a friend is a true friend when you've agreed to do each other's blue rinse!!! xo

I love the hula hoop and I don't love the pollen. We've all got eyesores and you crack me up at starting to # them!!!

I'm sorry that life has been handing you some heavy loads...and any time you want to talk -- I know you know where to find me ♥

magpie said...

love the the hula hoop wrapping - it looks like a peace sign from the sixties. which, oddly since i remember nothing, i remember. and am now IN. sixties i mean. which makes 'memories' that much...um....what was i saying?

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