If we were meeting for coffee today I would have a lot to say as I missed out on having coffee with you last Tuesday. I would show you the bowl of latte I had with my friend Tammy,
and tell you that we also ran into another friend who I always see at this cafe no matter what day or time of day I go, who also happens to be a member of the wolf club.
If we were meeting for coffee today I would tell you that I have gone kicking and screaming out of July and into August and that I can hardly believe my beloved July is over.
I would tell you last week I had my second massage with the magical massage therapist, Maria, but when I got dressed that morning I forgot someone else on planet earth was going to see my underwear.
If we were meeting for coffee today I would tell you that I have learned to know when I'm having a hot flash in a heat wave and that is when I am at the office and looking for another layer to peel off whilst everyone else is walking around in sweaters with their teeth chattering. And when I say, "is it just me or is it hot in here?" and everyone says that it's just me.
If we were meeting for coffee today I would show you the levitating crab apple
and then say, "fooled you!"
I love how kids can get so much time and fun out of something simple like a single crab apple. I would tell you that Riley took his first solo trip in the peddle boat this weekend as our delightful house guests had claimed the kayaks. I keep forgetting how much he is growing up and how trustworthy he is.
And then I would tell you about something else that happened on the lake on Sunday, something which made me confront a fear and which I am so grateful for happening. We were out in the canoe with our guests, two adults, two children when one of the children got twitchy and decided to leap out and swim back to our dock. But sixty pounds quickly leaving one side of a heretofore carefully balanced canoe means one thing - capsize. Before anyone knew what was happening it went over and before I had time to be scared I was in the water counting heads. We miraculously managed to pull/push the canoe to shore and emptied it and I might have photos to show of this except that my friend's non-waterproof camera was in her pocket at the time. My inner guidance had made me leave the dog and my own camera back on shore. A big lesson learned for the small fry was exactly why we wear life jackets no-matter-what in any boat (I expect to hear no more griping for some time about this) and I think the same lesson wasn't lost on the adults who had been cautious enough to be wearing them as well. Gratefully there was also sun after the event to help dry things out.
If we were meeting for coffee today I would tell you that there has been some wicked office gossip going on behind backs. I do my best to disassociate from all of this on a regular basis but if there is any truth to it, it has cost the lives of two innocent goldfish and that's where I tend to take it to heart. How interesting that the Brave Girl's message today advised against engaging in any kind of drama so I am going to take that advice and take a few steps back to my usual Switzerland post (which is, in fact, what they call me at work because my reputation is not to engage).
If we were meeting for coffee today I would eventually get around to talking about where my soul searching has led over the last two weeks. What I seem to notice in other people's lives is their support systems and how I lack in that area. Which brings out the victim archetype in me thinking that if only I had so-and-so or so-and-so to help out or take on some of the daily details of raising Riley I would have more time and energy to get my life moving forward and although there is plenty of truth in what I am thinking, there is also plenty of truth in the idea that many things I don't do or get done for my own self is because I am not making choices that would grant me enough importance in my own pecking order. Being a mother has meant making sacrifices I never dreamed would be asked of me, some of these I have given willingly and others I have gone down fighting over. As my birthday approaches I am putting some energy and effort into moving my needs and wants up on my to-do list in the hope that with intentional practice it will become habit. And I would share with you the entry from June 28 on my "Women Who Do Too Much" page-a-day-calendar which reads:
"Some of those we are close to - like children, husbands, pets, and colleagues - experience our being focused as withdrawing from them...not so! Those around us need to learn that they cannot always be the center of our attention and our being focused does not mean that we have abandoned them. Our being focused is not about them. It is about what we are doing."
and ask you if you don't think those words are brilliant too?
I would tell you I finally answered Crow's call.
Oh Crow! This powerful, thrumming bundle was made by the magical Pixie Campbell and arrived in my mail box on a day when I really, really needed to hold it in my hand.
And I would leave you with a picture that makes my own heart thrum, pure joy
and suggest we head over to Amy's Lucky Number 13 to keep this conversation going.