Thursday, February 24, 2011

Special Edition

Pet Peeve and Friday
haiku, all rolled into one.
I often wonder

at the sheer lack of
imagination with spam.
Like, "Can I Trust You?"

"Viagra Discount!"
Now I have your attention:
"Penis Enhancement!"

How about this one:
"British Lottery Winner!!!!!!"
Or, "Money Transfer."

There's, "Urgent Reply!"
and then, "Respectfully Yours"
or, "Get Back to Me".

Do the spammers think
that we are so gullible?
Oh, give me a break.

Sometimes I laugh at
the grammatical errors.
Dear email spammers,

take your "Loan Offer"
(Strictly Confidentially)
and go for a hike

Dearest, Urgently
and most Respectfully Yours,
The Bodhi Chicklet

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Virtual Coffee

If we were meeting for coffee today I would have to shoe-horn you in between picking up dog food, a new toaster oven, the groceries, and making a stop at the library and a few other places because they are "on the way". Phew! I would admit that I haven't spent one minute in my studio this past week partly with all that has been going on and partly because I feel as if I am in the incubating phase of creativity. I used to feel like I was wasting my time if I wasn't always making art, in some form, in every spare minute but now I am learning to recognize when I need to stop, breathe and let it happen inside me.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would show you this scarf my (blog-less) friend Cheryl made for me.

It's a beautiful blue and fan-shaped at each end which has turned out to be highly functional as it covers all the nooks and crannies. (Did I say it's been ridiculously cold again this week?)

She calls herself "Timex" because of that old ad - takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'! And you might notice that I am wearing shoes today

because I want to pretend that I am really done with boots until next fall. I'm kidding myself, I know, but I would ask you if I am the only one who finds February so bleepin' long. With only 28 days to call its own, this month just doesn't seem to have an end. It's Forevuary, as I heard it called.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would confess a deep desire for a Tim Horton's iced cap. I notice that they give me zits, but I love them anyway. *sigh* We would sit outside somewhere in the sun, regardless of the temperature because that's what we do in our city.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would pull out these two photos to show you. One of the styrofoam packing sides from the new (!) toaster oven looked so much like a frame to me and who else was near by for a photo shoot?

Oh but look at the time - homework is on the grill right now but there is always a fresh cup over at Amy's Lucky Number 13. Thanks for stopping by.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday Haiku

Something that scared me
today - Pokemon made sense.
Is there hope for me?

Endings and Beginnings

So OWOH is over, my random generator first picked the number 105 and then picked number 44. Congratulations to Ladybug, I will be sending you the three lovely sisters, and to Olwyn, who will receive the intention cookies. I'll be contacting each of you to send me your mailing deets.

Thanks for Lisa Swifka for taking so much time and care in making this event happen one more time.

Endings are also beginnings and today brings a whole slew of them my way. Here's looking at the day!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Pet Peeve of the Week

This week's pet peeve is cheese grater toilet paper. You know the kind: one-ply, so thin you can see through it, if you try laying it down on the seat it blows off as you lower yourself down and it's completely non-absorbent so you are left with your water running down your own hand as if you wiped with a board. Just saying.

A worthy cause

I was alerted to this worthy cause and I'm in. Ophelia is offering collage packs for $25, shipping included, with the money going to a family in need in her neck of the woods. The packs contain dictionary pages, foreign text, vintage ads, tags, ledger pages, painted pages etc. I invite you to trot on over to read more and have a look and see if it's something you would like to support.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

{Virtual Coffee}

Oh yay, it's time for coffee. Come on in because I am already on my second cup.

If we were meeting for coffee today we wouldn't talk about how !@#$% cold it is AGAIN. I wouldn't tell you the weird sounds my car was making on the way to school because there is just no way to describe them other than it was a kind of weary weeping, or maybe that was me.

If we were meeting for coffee I would tell you all about the birthday that came and went in our house this week.

My little ray of sunshine turned 8. EIGHT?!

How did that happen?! It took all I had not to laugh and/or cry when he dressed himself for school that day in his fancy shirt and tie. Funny how the feel of wearing nice clothes can effect even children.

I would tell you about BOTH cakes he had. I think it's almost standard nowadays to have two celebrations for kids - one with family and then another with their friends. But what's not to like about more cake huh? There was a lot of hot air blowing.

If you came over for coffee today I would show you our new mailbox that appeared shortly before Valentine's Day. We have been exchanging all kinds of messages and I got my first Valentine in it L-O-N-G before the 14th.

Yesterday morning I was also handed this one - the heart shaped marshmallow from Riley's bowl of Lucky Charms. It really is the thought that counts.

And while we were talking Valentine's Day I would weep about how, for the second year in a row, Riley came home from school with one measly valentine. Last year I wrote about how painful that was for him but this year he seemed to take it a little more in stride although you never know what is percolating beneath the surface, do you? It's hard to explain to an eight-year old how the nice guys don't always finish last. Some days growing up is as painful for the child as it is for the parent.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would declare that our aquarium is finally stable. After two weeks of daily water changes, the ammonia, nitrates and nitrites are, at last, at an "acceptable" level. I would tell you that there is evidence that Riley is a budding buddhist. He chose the bamboo for the aquarium (that's Turbo Snail climbing up the stalk - so named as the thing covers ground like a snail on espresso)

as well as the pagoda.

And at Chapters last Friday he picked out this mini zen garden kit with his gift certificate (over other toys and books).

And he's getting quite good at the raking procedure. Gotta love the gardener with his umbrella hat.

Well, it's time for me to go and see what I can do about my coat. Yesterday whilst leaving my office building at the end of the day I walked into a perfume cloud and the trim around my hood still smells and it's been making me feel kind of nauseous.

If you still have a thirst trot on over to Amy's Lucky Number 13 for another cup!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Friday Haiku

Missing in action:
one Friday Haiku, last seen
eating Doritos

and running amok
down Main Street in a tutu
and pink Birkenstocks.

If found, please call One-
Eight-Hundred-Five-Five-Five, Five-
Five-Five-Five. Thank you.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

What I've Learned, Week 19

The front is acrylics, ink, stamps, collage; the back is a gel medium transfer with stamped text.

I'm not overly fond of this one. I think it's because the time I spent making it was very broken up with camp last weekend and preparations for Riley's birthday and party. But I do love the process of what I learned. I learned when I was telling people my owl story that everyone seemed to have one of their own. It was amazing to hear each one and to watch the person speak with such wonder at these creatures. I also learned that (as far as I know) we have only one word for owl in English but in French there are many: hibou, chouette, harfang, hulotte, grand-duc.

Pet Peeve Of The Day

This may be turning into a regular Thursday feature. Maybe I should put up a mister linky. Do you have a pet peeve today or is life just a bowl of cherries? This annoys the snot out of me. My housemate(s) who leave the d@#$m cupboard doors open. Just sayin'...

Monday, February 7, 2011

{Virtual Coffee}

Oh dear, I thought I would be ecstatic to see Tuesday this week and instead I am stressing to the nines. If we were meeting for coffee today I would warn you that I am flying high on crabbiness and gnarliness so that you could decide if you even want to have coffee with me today.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would be torn between telling you about the coming days and the past few days. I would say I should stick to decaf because I am already climbing the walls and trying to put a positive spin on all of it.

The last weekend I spent at scouts camp just about finished me off. We were staying in old train cabooses like Frederick here
only ours was named Saint Laurent. Well, let me tell you it seemed like the last occupants had been a pack of feral cats who sprayed the entire inside. We were nine in our caboose which left the three foot square entrance a virtual wading pool.
This is the view from the top of the stairs which left me a little nervous about the kiddies in our charge running up and down them and hopping across the gap to the caboose beside ours. I was hoping their tetanus shots were all up to date with all the rust and pointy metal edges.
I guess I should throw in that fact that we had electricity but no running water which put the toilets at a bit of a hike. But not as far as the potable water (which looked a little dicey to me even if they claim it is tested once a week) which was a good half mile hike away.

The highlight of the trip (which should give you an idea) was coming head to head with the main cub leader over the issue of safety in one of the sporting events. He declared he had never been looked at or spoken to in such a manner by a parent volunteer in the twenty-odd years he was leader. I'll spare the details and just say that I hardly recognize myself anymore. I've turned into the mouse that roars.

The last straw for me was the smoke detector going off twice during our last night. Already we were all short on sleep. The days started early and ended late. And it's stressful enough waking to the smoke detector shrieking let alone waking to the smoke detector shrieking when you are responsible for a load of other people's kids. False alarms, both of them but there was no restful sleep for the rest of the night. My theory was that the heat of the caboose (too hot inside and no way to turn the temperature down) mixed with the cat urine created fumes that sparked the alarm.

Oh, if we were meeting for coffee today I would ask you to just talk to me and tell me that these feelings of being in the middle of a nervous breakdown will soon pass while I cry tears of frustration and fear.

If you were here for coffee today I would pull out the page from my page-a-day calendar for Women Who Do Too Much which reads for February 8: Every day we complete many tasks, and yet we often see only those left undone. You would tell me that's true and remind me to breathe. And you would ask to see some of the pictures from the weekend and I couldn't resist showing this one of Riley jumping off the piled up docks into a bank of snow
and this one of my hair after not showering for days. A bad case of bed-head and hat-hair rolled into one

I would say that I think this photo looks a bit Annie Leibovitz-ish and you would laugh so hard coffee would come out of your nose which would make me laugh and start to feel a little better.

I would give you a hug at the door because friends really can lift my spirits when I am down and I know it's a start when I begin to feel moments of lightness in my heart.

You would tell me you are headed over to Amy's Lucky Number 13 for some more stories since it's your day off and are being kind to yourself by actually giving yourself a "day off".

Friday, February 4, 2011

Friday Haiku

I thought my haiku
would be hiatus'd this week
since I am going....

....get ready for this -
WINTER CAMPING with the Scouts.
"WHAT???!!!!" I hear you shriek.

"The Bodhi Chicklet
who hates camping in July
is Winter Camping???!!!"

Oh, yes indeed-y,
it's Winter Flippin' Camping
for Riley and me;

we're going along
with another thirty-odd
Beavers, Cubs and Scouts.

If I didn't know
already that I'm crazy
as a hoot owl

I would have myself
committed to have my head
examined by staff.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

One World One Heart

Yup, it's that time of year again. Lisa Swifka is hosting her One World One Heart event, which she says will be her last. What is not to love about this?! In Lisa's own words:

"One World One Heart is a worldwide event for bloggers only. It gives all those who blog a chance to meet and mingle and form connections with those they may not have otherwise met from all over the world….Think of it as a GIGANTIC open house allowing you to travel without ever leaving your home........going from blog to blog in various countries, and meeting all the fabulous people behind them. As a bonus each blogger participant will offer up a "door prize or prizes"....just for dropping by, saying hello and seeing their world."

I have two things up for grabs for this go-round. Both of them made from clay, which has been a bit of a deviation for me from working on paper, but both of which come from my heart; which is why I decided to put them out here.

First up is what was coined (by I forget who at the moment) as the three lovely sisters:

Love, Hope and Trust. Made from air-dried clay, stamped and finished.

The second is a box of five fortune (or intention) cookies. Made from paper clay, stamped, air-dried and finished. By the way, you can't eat them, but they do come with inspirational notes inside which you can replace with your own notes or intentions.

As the rules go, leave a comment here before midnight on February 17 to be eligible to win either of these goodies. I will use a random generator to pick the winners. Don't forget to check out all the other participants over here.

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

{Virtual Coffee}

Hello Tuesday. Hello February. If it wasn't for Riley's birthday February would be another wite-out month on my calendar. But it's no secret that winter and me just don't see eye-to-eye. Those three little guys are from a special edition of Kinder eggs. I know my American friends can't get their hands on them but Riley loves them and I think they are kind of cute. They are gearing me up for Easter.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would tell you we are just coming out of a pH crisis with our aquarium. We had another casualty last week *sigh* which led me to buying a water testing kit which led me to find our pH was wonky and our ammonia 4 times what it should be. A few emergency 25% water replacements later it is almost corrected but we are not adding any new life until I know it is completely stabilized.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would tell you how we have now achieved that certain mid-winter shade of pale.

I had a peek at Riley's neck the other day and realized just how long it has been since any of our skin has seen the light of day. Oh, I know. But I miss the feeling of shorts and short sleeves and bare feet. I miss feeling the wind and the sun and even the rain on my arms. I want to cry "uncle!" and be done with it.

On Sunday I took Riley cross country skiing for the first time. I used to ski quite a bit before he was born and we almost didn't make it out on Sunday because it was so cold. But we decided to go anyway and I remembered how much I loved being outside and shushing along the trails. It was especially sweet for me because we strapped Riley's rentals on his feet and he took off; I had a hard time keeping up with him. It is so amazing to see him excel at something as sports aren't really his strong point. He loves playing all kinds of things but if I'm honest with you, he's pretty uncoordinated. Except on skis which is kind of scary.

If we were meeting for coffee today I would tell you that I am needing my reading glasses more and more. Even cooking has become a challenge. This is what I saw on Sunday night.

I knew I had some fine spinach manicotti but I didn't know how long to cook it or at what temperature without these puppies

It's turning into a bit of a drag, soon you are going to see me with my readers on a chain around my neck like a caricature of little old lady. That's what turning 50 did to me. That and having E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G dry out. Yeah, everything. And while I had you laughing at me I would segue into a bit of a rant about having to buy an extra writing book for Riley to get him through the school year. Apparently the $73 I paid in August for books only covers ONE little writing book. If students practice more than what fits in one book, the parents must fork out again. And it's not the $1.19 that sticks in my craw it's the principal.

If we were meeting for coffee today we would talk about the One World One Heart brouhaha going on. I know the idea behind it is wonderful, getting bloggers to discover each other and to make connections but I can't help but feel it has turned into more of a race or a competition to win something than a time and a place to meet fellow kindred souls. Maybe it's just me feeling kind of jaded. I did make a few things to offer up for the event and since it is purported to be the last one, I will probably jump in and join.

Oh now look at the time! I wonder how that storm is progressing. We are expecting our dump to come tomorrow but I have to say that I sympathize with the dumpees. I still wouldn't mind having a snow day.

If you want another cuppa, I invite you to go and see Amy at Lucky Number 13. She always has a pot on the boil.