This book deviates slightly from her usual format. The text is dense and rich and has made me think and think and think. The fact of loss has been in the forefront of my year. Reading her words explaining how we have lots of different feelings all at the same time was an "aha" moment for me. As simple or silly as it seems, I tend to be an extreme person and of course drama goes hand in hand with that. But really when I'm rushing with anger a part of my heart also holds love and forgiveness. The truths that we never really "get over" our loss(es) made me feel that there was nothing wrong with me for living in grief for so long. There are events in our lives that change us down to our DNA. I had one of those events happen 10 years ago and now I recognize similar feelings from that time. Loss is changing me and I need to adjust, re-adjust, make more room for how I am expanding. And while I do, I need to be kind to myself. Sark reminds me to do that, to make self-care one of my practices.
She shares the details of her own losses, the ones that she will never "get over" and in doing so makes us feel like we are going to be alright anyway. There are practical exercises for dealing with our minds, she writes "my mind is an unreliable guide - by itself" - I loved that as I have a love-hate relationship with my own. I laughed at some of the things on one of her loss lists such as "loss of youth and a certain kind of attractiveness" because I've been feeling that recently. Which is not to say she is flip about her losses as she also includes "loss of my cat and physical experiences of unconditional love" and "loss of significant friendships".
I loved that she included lists of what to say and what not to people who are grieving. There is really so much to love about this book. As always it is also beautiful and colourful, reminding me to see the constant beauty right under my nose.