When You Get What You Need

It's been a bit of a rough ride these last weeks, plenty going on that is knocking me off center. But I have received some lovely things in the mail that are pulling me back to where I thrive. The first came from Sheila in England, as my latest Gift of Jewels, Selah's project. The words, Just Be, made my brain slow down and I took it as a message from something bigger than me and my life.

Then right on the heels of that beautiful message, Paula sent me an angel postcard, and even the envelope was art.

Ain't life grand?

Rambling weather rant

OK, OK, it's been an easy winter. We have had little snow the last 6 weeks. Very little snow. My backyard was starting to look, well - revolting. And I walk my dogs, a lot. Twice a day, three times a day when I'm not working downtown. But there is always the pee that happens after chasing a squirrel through the yard and up the tree. Or the midnight pee, or the 3:00 a.m. pee. Then there's the territorial pee and the oh-what-the-heck-pee and the I-forgot-to-go-while-on-the-one-hour-walk-so-I'll-just-do-it-now-before-I-go-in-the-house-and-sleep-for-the-next-four-hours-pee. But this plunged me over the edge: a note came home from school yesterday advising parents to check their children's snow suits. Apparently, with almost no new snow to speak of, and with irresponsible pet owners walking their dogs through the school yard, the halls and the lockers in the school building have been smelling like dog excrement. Beauty. Riley did have a pair of mittens last week that were stinky. I thought it was just a case of them not drying out fully before they got wet again. They were washed as soon as I caught the whiff. Now I know what it was and I'm disgusted.

This morning I woke to about 6 inches of fresh stuff and it's still coming down. I should be grateful because it kind of takes care of the yellow snow matter. *sigh* Instead I'm wishing for sunnier climes.

Friday Haiku

At last, it's snowing

Now hidden in my back yard

Ghastly yellow snow

Wordless Wednesday

True Confessions

I don't love fruit. I love seasonal fruit like strawberries in June and apples in September but I love canned fruit. There is just something about a perfect piece of fruit, already washed, peeled, de-pitted or seeded in sloppy, slurpy fruit juice that makes me swoon.

And, I think I'm in love with my Olbas inhaler. It's a little tattered because I've had it for so long, but it's like an old friend that can clear my head with one deep breath.

Big Heart(s) Walking, A Love Story

I don't remember the first link that brought me to Kim at the Queen of Arts, but I can say she has had a profound effect on my life, creatively and otherwise. I have had the great fortune to meet her in person twice so far and visit her blog often enough that even Riley knew her face and her art before he met her. She is not only the Queen of Arts but she is also known as Big Heart Walking by her family and many friends. Again, a name popular enough that Riley knows her as such as well. So I shouldn't have been surprised by what happened last week on a night when I was feeling so sick, a night that iMan was out working and the dogs had to be walked after supper which meant that Riley had to get dressed up and come with me. He usually does come with me when the weather isn't so wintry and we have some great one-on-one times. As I was dragging myself down the street he stopped to pick up a chunk of snow that was heart shaped and said, "Look Mom, it's like Big Heart Walking". And we started to talk about the Queen of Arts because he had met her the week before and his memory is like a steal trap. He asked me to tell him more about what Big Heart Walking means so I told him he was like a Big Heart Walking too because he is so gentle and kind and thoughtful and because he doesn't say a bad word about anyone, even people who are mean to him. And then we started naming other people we know who are Big Hearts Walking in our life. Later in the walk he found another chunk of heart shaped snow so he put them both in the hood of my coat because he was tired of carrying them around and my hands were full with dog leashes. The next day he asked me to take a picture of the snow chunks so he could send some love to the Queen, because that is the kind of soul he is.

One Is The Loneliest Number

Yesterday Riley came home from school with a grand total of one valentine.

I thought there must have been some mistake. He had written out his valentines earlier in the week, one for each person in the class, including the teacher. I had told him to do this, since that was the valentine protocol when I was growing up. He was pretty upset, claiming the other kids got "piles". Today was a pedagogical day so I left a message at the school office for his teacher, asking her to call me. Since I didn't hear back from her, I tried to compose an email but can only come up with some pathetic, whiny mother-script complaining about the unpopularity of her son. I'm wondering if Riley is having some social issues in his class, I know there are a couple of kids who pick on him because his French is not always correct, they make fun of him for that. The last parent/teacher meeting went swimmingly though with no mention of this. Wouldn't I have seen the signs before now? How does a mother glue her son's heart back together in time for Valentine's Day? Am I so off the mark thinking that at this age kids should give all the other kids in their class a valentine, leaving no one out?

Moving On

Well, yeah, I'm feeling better, more or less. But what a week. I dropped off the face of blogland for a bit. Priorities, priorities. I couldn't even muster up a wordless wednesday yesterday. I have fallen so far behind in reading and commenting that I'm not even going to try to catch up. I'm starting up fresh today with some advice from an old friend. Talking to her yesterday, griping about this and that, she quite simply told me to compost life's crap. So my new mantra is Compost ! Compost ! Compost ! I love the imagery around it, the symbolism of putting in what is old, past it's date, giving it some time and turning out new, rich material for everything to feed on.

Everyone in the U.S. mid-Atlantic will want to smack me upside the head with their shovels but I'm going to shout from the rooftops that it has been a tolerable February so far. We haven't had a storm in over a month and we've seen plenty of the sun. By midday I'm even seeing melt.

And bits of grass. I love how the snow melts around objects first, ringing them.

And since the sun was out early this morning I couldn't help but involve the Queen of Arts in my capers, I grabbed one of her rocks and set out for the waterfront, deciding to leave a little inspiration behind. I may have needed this message more than anyone today.

I'll be the first to admit this movie is like watching paint dry but listen to the crackling at the very beginning. It's the sound of the ice breaking up and floating away. The idea that the worst is over, that spring is not far off made me want to cry with joy.

February 10, 2010

Much ado brought me to this day, my favorite person in the world's birthday. We started the day with a bouquet of balloons.

And wound it down with some food art for supper, because we call ourselves artistes.

And what's a birthday without a little ribbon?

Or a blue tongue from the icing on the Pikachu cake?

My sweet, smart, funny, sensitive, eccentric boy turned seven yesterday. I'm so proud of him and who he is turning out to be.

Sssssh!

Can you keep a secret? A sneek preview of tomorrow in our house:

Unwell

I am unwell. It started yesterday at work. At first it was a suspicious thought - uh oh, am I? I think I am... And an hour later it was - yup, definitely, I am. So I trotted downstairs to the pharmacy and bought a bottle of Cold FX. I am currently in the accelerated phase of this virus where I feel like absolute crap, throat on fire, achey, murky eyes, slight nausea, able to sleep if I even think about lying down. Which all makes sense because earlier this week I came down off a pretty stressful situation in which I had to let something important go. So I might disappear for a couple of days. Or a miracle might happen and I'll be back on top of my world tomorrow.

Wordless Wednesday

Mr. & Mrs.

When the winter started I had plenty of birds at my feeders. Lately they aren't being emptied so fast and the only ones I have seen are Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal. I suspect there are some spoilers in the neighborhood, offering better fare than my black sunflower seed. My grandmother used to put bread smeared with peanut butter out in the winter, to put some oil in their feathers she said. Suet studded with seed is popular but not something I can offer as my dogs eat the droppings and end up with the turkey trots. I must say I feel a little slighted and that the Mr. and Mrs. are humoring me, tossing me a bone, by gracing my feeder. They are beautiful though, so I'll take them any way I can.

Minus Thirty-Eight

It was with the windchill these last couple of days. That is about where the Fahrenheit and Celsius scales meet, so it's irrelevant to add either of those words after the number. My boots:

didn't quite cut it - only good to minus thirty. It seems those eight degrees really do make a difference.

Before I returned my library book on Friday I did some more homework:

as it was too frigid to be fiddling with push pins in my hydro pole. And I'm trying to not take it too personally but yesterday afternoon coming home from the art supply store (with the Queen of Arts no less!) we discovered a van crashed into "my" hydro pole, having neatly taken out my neighbor's Matrix on it's way there. No injuries, I am happy to say except to the metal and fibreglass.

Yes, the Queen of Arts was up in my neck of the woods and she graciously shared some of her time with me. I got to look through her art journal and see, without the blur of the computer screen, the vibrant colors and read the parts of her she chooses to share. We laughed and broke bread, my burned bread, and she looked past the pet hair and toys, not to mention the dreadful state I have let my car decline into. I plied her with wine to blur the edges. And she gifted me with one of these:

because that's the kind of Queen she is.

Friday Haiku, Take 2

Crappy little day

Yesterday I just gave in

Love was hard to find

Friday Haiku

Winter has returned

With a fierce and frigid blast

Must go and shovel

Wordless Wednesday

Day 3

It rained yesterday, enough rain to see a few arks half built in the neighborhood early this morning. But the sight of my now weepy affirmations didn't daunt me. Lookin' good!

That's What You Get

For a long time, a couple of years actually, I have been asking, pleading and begging the Universe for some big change. But the Universe has other ideas for me, one of them being practicing patience, something I am working on but I still have moments of utter impatience. Cutting my hair was one of those moments of utter impatience. Boy, I wanted change and I got it. Control the controllables and let the rest go. So I've come up with my own top ten list, half yin, half yang.

Top Five Reasons Why It Was a Good Idea to Cut My Hair

1- I no longer need a comb (or a brush for that matter)

2- it pretty much takes care of itself in the morning

3- I can wear earrings and they show

4- I feel as if I have cleared a lot of clutter from my personal and physical realm

5- I learned a valuable lesson about control and forcing my hand

Top Five Reasons Why It Wasn't Such a Good Idea to Cut My Hair

1- you can see my turkey neck 24/7 now

2- it's still much colder outside than I realized

3- I feel more "exposed", this daring side of me is out there for more to see

4-my dogs don't recognize me

5- I learned a valuable lesson about control and forcing my hand

So here I am, yuking it up in the mirror. I guess it's time to change my bio photo as I really don't feel like that person anymore.

Day 2

At the suggestion of the lovely and inspiring Queen of Arts, I went back to my hydro pole this afternoon and push-pinned another affirmation.

This just might be getting addictive.

Homework

Everywhere I turn there is synchronicity. One of the homework assignments for Mondo Beyondo this week was to place an affirmation for someone to find (the Queen of Arts would love this). Early yesterday morning I push-pinned this into a hydro pole and it was still there at the end of the day. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing since it meant more people had walked by it and, hopefully, read it. Or if it meant it really didn't resonate with anyone enough to snatch it and take it home. Maybe it was just too d*!@ cold and everyone was walking with their heads down, eyes frosted over. I guess what is most important was my gesture. And maybe, just maybe the one person that needed to see it, did, and left it there as a gesture of his or her own.

Friday Haiku

I got a haircut

Turned out very short indeed

Feel like Samson

(perhaps a photo will follow later...)

Wordless Wednesday

The Smells of Winter

This is something that has been kind of bothering me for a few weeks now. It's the smells of winter. Not the fragrant pine of Christmas trees or the clear, crisp air when it's minus thirty-five degrees. But the smells of outerwear that has been wet too many times, everyday, without being allowed to dry completely before getting wet again. It's a slightly sour, musty smell that won't go away until everything is laundered and hung to dry on the line in the sun. Which means the smells of winter will be with me until - oh - May. Or if I'm lucky, April. The last time I washed my winter coat it took two days to fully dry and that was hanging it in the direct sun in August. Children's coats and snow pants can not be put in the dryer so unless we get a long and very mild spell, I'm out of luck there too. Some mitts are only washable with a damp cloth (WHAT?!) which means they are - gack! - disposable. Don't even get me started on the dogs.

January Thaw

It used to be that when we experienced a couple of mild days in January we would call it the January Thaw. But the last ten or twelve years we have had anything but normal seasonal weather so when today brought our temperature just above the freezing mark, we had to celebrate it in the only way we know how - snowball fights and snowmen! We started off building up the fort:

I was taunted and challenged:

which made me stock-pile these, ready for bombardment:

after which the fort looked like this:

When I was sure I didn't have an ounce of energy left, we got all artsy-fartsy and created this guy. I love the way he looks at the camera:

But our day wouldn't be complete without finding something incongruous, which today turned out to be a pink seashell (I swear I don't make this stuff up) in our backyard:

Weekly Gratitude, Week 2

Continuing the month's theme of "work", my card for Weekly Gratitude front and back:

I am grateful to have the time, the tools and the inspiration to carry out my work.

Friday Haiku

pain and suffering

is difficult to witness

search your heart, send love

Bonus Shot

Another one from our photo shoot the other night:

Explanation

The shot below was taken in the tub last night. We have these mini magnet lights of different colors which Riley likes to play with in the bath. Last night I turned out the overhead light and took a bunch of shots of him playing in the bubbles. So much fun. And yes, they are meant to be submersible.

Wordless Wednesday

Weekly Gratitude

My participation in Weekly Gratitude, week 1, the theme this month is work. If you want to join in, it's never too late. Gratitude is like that.

Originally I was going to do this project with a deck of playing cards, but I soon realized that they were pretty small. Someone in the group suggested children's flash cards and I had a deck of 54, they are 3.25 x 5.25 inches. Bigger than the tags I did last year but a nice size. They have been a bugger to prep though, many layers of gesso and sanding in between as my gesso didn't want to go on smoothly and I started by using the wrong brush. We learn so quickly with our mistakes, don't we? I didn't think the theme of work would be much fodder for me, but that was another mistake I learned quickly from. Reading through Art and Fear last night, all I could see was that very theme. How we work, why we work, why we don't work. Oh boy, more synchronicity that tells me I'm on a fine path despite feeling often lost.

At the end of last year I bought a handful of Derwent's Inktense pencils and used them for the first time here. They are delicious, color intense pencils that work like watercolor pencils only when wet they act more like ink in a stick. I want to run back to the store and buy the B-I-G box with every color in it. I'm following the same pattern as the tag project of art on the front, journaling on the back.

A ladybug, a beetle and a caterpillar walk into a bar

A couple of days ago, iMan found a caterpillar at the door to the basement where his home office is. A while ago I wrote about how Riley found a ladybug in an unexpected place, then how I found a beetle coming out from under a baseboard. January is an unusual time to be finding such bugs in the house. But we are a breeding ground for the unusual. And caterpillar makes three.

This morning I read Karen's (Creative Therapy) post and she was talking about how, with her plans for some travelling, the month of January seems almost over. While she was lamenting the all too quick passage of time, I was hurraying for the passage of January. My calendar says three more full weeks of this month. I wonder, how will I make it? It's cold and dark and unforgiving. With the exception of the bug population, very little of nature is present. In Momma Zen, Karen Miller talks about doing what is in front of you. Some good advice I thought to incorporate into my life as I am guilty for having so many projects that many get half done and I get frustrated seeing them lying around. This week I have been doing what is in front of me for some little things, like opening or dealing with the mail immediately instead of letting it pile up and (as soon as I get off the computer) I will fix the waist in a number of new sweat pants I bought for Riley instead of letting them sit in the bag until he outgrows them. Good advice, but it can lead to not getting some bigger things done. For me, it takes letting the little things go to stay in my studio and do the work I love so much.

But getting back to this big hump I call January, I'm learning that my big challenge right now is learning to live in present time. January is not going anywhere but passing one day at a time. I want to remember it as having been a fruitful, learning, living time and not a snarling, grumpy, Eeyore-ish thirty-one days of something to just get through.

Insight

Last night I finished Karen Maezen Miller's, "Momma Zen". I can't say enough good things about this one, I wouldn't know where to start or finish. But in the spirit of a new year, new goals, I would like to share a quote near the end of the book that spoke to me. "There are many things you can do in life, but the things that you accomplish are those to which you commit."

In the past I have been guilty of over extending myself with childlike enthusiasm. I often sign on and up for more than I can handle. One of my intentions for this year was to be more discerning, to cherry pick things I do want to learn, people I do want to spend time with both cyber-wise and in real time terms. Finding this sentence solidified that desire in me. I do love synchronicity.

Friday Haiku

Frustrated as hell
Working with a new/old Mac
T'was installing and

Uninstalling stuff
Needless to say, tonight it's
Grey Goose, Lime and me

End of the Questions

*e*'s last question - What magical thing happened to you this year?

This might be my favorite tag of all 52. I love to see the progression of my work throughout a whole year. Making this one I felt really free - not because it was the end of the project, but because I had learned to live each question and after 52 starts, I became pretty comfortable.

Wordless Wednesday