Witchy, Kitschy, and B + itchy
4 weeks ago
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Multiple Choice
It might be this one:
or this one:
but I think it's this one:
the virus that is making me feel like crap today. I was on my way to the bus stop, headed to work this morning when I got that familiar feeling of "uh oh, I think I'm getting a cold". And it snowballed pretty quickly. As soon as the pharmacy opened I ran downstairs and bought a bottle of Cold F-X as it has worked amazingly well in the past. But only if I start taking it within minutes of when the symptoms first appear. Waiting until I got home at the end of the day and then dosing myself would have been too late. I think I have it on the run, I'll know for sure tomorrow. But I'm going with shot number 3, it's the prickly strands with that weird looking nodule on them that feel dastardly familiar.
or this one:
but I think it's this one:
the virus that is making me feel like crap today. I was on my way to the bus stop, headed to work this morning when I got that familiar feeling of "uh oh, I think I'm getting a cold". And it snowballed pretty quickly. As soon as the pharmacy opened I ran downstairs and bought a bottle of Cold F-X as it has worked amazingly well in the past. But only if I start taking it within minutes of when the symptoms first appear. Waiting until I got home at the end of the day and then dosing myself would have been too late. I think I have it on the run, I'll know for sure tomorrow. But I'm going with shot number 3, it's the prickly strands with that weird looking nodule on them that feel dastardly familiar.
Friday, November 13, 2009
November So Far, Examining the Dark
At the beginning of this month I made a commitment to myself to examine the dark. Since then I find I have been less affected by the actual shortness of the days. I will admit that as rotten and trying as October was weather-wise, November has been, so far, a pleasant surprise. We have had an extraordinary amount of sun and some warm temperatures but only a degree or two above normal. The last few nights we have had some very hard frosts. And in the morning I find myself noticing the beauty of this:
and this:
and how our soccer field looks like there is a dusting of snow when it's really just frozen dew:
Walking the dogs by the water this morning we noticed that the ducks are still here although they are starting to congregate, as they will, in clumps of hundreds, facing south, assessing the conditions for their upcoming flight. Here is a pair that dared to come close enough to us despite the canine presence:
Since Trish at Buttercup Beret lauded me for my brutal honesty today, I will admit to having eaten an entire 200 gram bag (slightly less than 1/2 pound) of these since the beginning of this month:
This may have contributed to my surprisingly light mood. Or not. But today I wasn't even bothered by Friday the 13th.
and this:
and how our soccer field looks like there is a dusting of snow when it's really just frozen dew:
Walking the dogs by the water this morning we noticed that the ducks are still here although they are starting to congregate, as they will, in clumps of hundreds, facing south, assessing the conditions for their upcoming flight. Here is a pair that dared to come close enough to us despite the canine presence:
Since Trish at Buttercup Beret lauded me for my brutal honesty today, I will admit to having eaten an entire 200 gram bag (slightly less than 1/2 pound) of these since the beginning of this month:
This may have contributed to my surprisingly light mood. Or not. But today I wasn't even bothered by Friday the 13th.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Further Chronicles of the Dark: The Saboteur
I have been sitting on this card for almost a week. When I first pulled it from the deck I laughed, then felt kind of devastated.
From a deck of 80 cards, I managed to find this one. According to Caroline Myss, the Saboteur is one of four archetypes we all have in common, the other three being the Child, the Prostitute and the Victim. My Saboteur and my Victim often walk hand in hand. Just when I think I am past much of that behavior, it surfaces and I get to look it boldly in the face. Again. I can look back on my twenties and see how I was so mired in personal discovery-hormonal-reactionary-overdrive and that helps me when I spend time with people of that age. It has given me an insight into the angst that grows from adolescent angst. My thirties were slightly better. Everything calmed down somewhat but the Saboteur would often surface with self destructive feelings and actions of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough (you get the idea). And now being able to look back on my forties I feel as if personal growth has sped up. Conceptually, what used to take me a decade to work through, I feel I can "get" in a couple of years. In theory. Both light and dark attributes are pretty dark to me, the light is described as, "Highlights your fear of self-empowerment and the changes it would bring to your life". I do fear some of the changes, I do want certain guarantees. I'll bargain with the gods and goddesses - give me this but don't take away that. I want to let go of the trapeze and yet the fears are paralyzing. This, in a nutshell, has been my week with the saboteur.
From a deck of 80 cards, I managed to find this one. According to Caroline Myss, the Saboteur is one of four archetypes we all have in common, the other three being the Child, the Prostitute and the Victim. My Saboteur and my Victim often walk hand in hand. Just when I think I am past much of that behavior, it surfaces and I get to look it boldly in the face. Again. I can look back on my twenties and see how I was so mired in personal discovery-hormonal-reactionary-overdrive and that helps me when I spend time with people of that age. It has given me an insight into the angst that grows from adolescent angst. My thirties were slightly better. Everything calmed down somewhat but the Saboteur would often surface with self destructive feelings and actions of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough (you get the idea). And now being able to look back on my forties I feel as if personal growth has sped up. Conceptually, what used to take me a decade to work through, I feel I can "get" in a couple of years. In theory. Both light and dark attributes are pretty dark to me, the light is described as, "Highlights your fear of self-empowerment and the changes it would bring to your life". I do fear some of the changes, I do want certain guarantees. I'll bargain with the gods and goddesses - give me this but don't take away that. I want to let go of the trapeze and yet the fears are paralyzing. This, in a nutshell, has been my week with the saboteur.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Four Letter Words
Our Saturday paper had an article entitled, "Doggone it, it's hard to be a non-swearing parent," written by Felix Carroll with the Albany Times Union. This saint and his wife have actually managed to put their swearing on hold around their kids. They admit to using certain language with each other, often in the form of name-calling, but not in front of the kids. I was amazed. My friend Beth at Books etc. has admitted she swears like a sailor and has no intention of stopping. (Love that!) I have tried myself but with little success. Riley automatically knows what words he can or can't say. He was a late talker, well into the age of two, but once he started he had amassed a large and sophisticated vocabulary. In the early years I often fretted over the very real possibility his first word would be the "s" word in front of Grandma (who uses it rather frequently herself I'll add). I am guilty of using not only the "s" word, but the "f" word as well as "g-d". But I don't stop there. I also am known to string them together in very quick sequence such as "g-d" "b" "m-f" and other variations thereof. Tsk, tsk. I hope my son doesn't start swearing like me at any time in his life. Usually I find it inelegant and coarse when someone else is doing it. Not the odd word, but the ones at high volume or the strung together ones. I guess it's time to clean up my act. At least in front of the kids.
That Chickadee Feeling
Recently in Christine Kane's weekly newsletter she listed ways to beat the descending dark days, one of which was to put out your bird feeder. Two days ago I did that as we love to bird watch. Early yesterday morning from the bathroom window Riley saw a black cap chickadee in it already and let me tell you he was so excited. We watched a couple of chickadees come and go for much of the day. It's amazing how somethi
ng so small can bring so much joy. My sister, a teacher-librarian in the Toronto area has sent us many good books since Riley was born, one of which is called, "That Chickadee Feeling" by Frank Glew. It's a story about finding the thrills in life, small and large and remembering them on a regular basis. Frank Glew is an environmental educator who also wrote a number of other children's books two of which we have and love, "Feed the Good Wolf" which is based on the North American story about good versus evil and, "When I Grow Up I Want to Be Just Like My Dog". I highly recommend them in these holiday shopping days. Books are some of my favorite things to give. This year, I am making my most important gifts (ssssh, I can't tell) and buying a lot on Etsy. I'd like to encourage you to support handmade art. It doesn't have to be expensive, and they are one-of-a-kind gifts. So much to love about that.
ng so small can bring so much joy. My sister, a teacher-librarian in the Toronto area has sent us many good books since Riley was born, one of which is called, "That Chickadee Feeling" by Frank Glew. It's a story about finding the thrills in life, small and large and remembering them on a regular basis. Frank Glew is an environmental educator who also wrote a number of other children's books two of which we have and love, "Feed the Good Wolf" which is based on the North American story about good versus evil and, "When I Grow Up I Want to Be Just Like My Dog". I highly recommend them in these holiday shopping days. Books are some of my favorite things to give. This year, I am making my most important gifts (ssssh, I can't tell) and buying a lot on Etsy. I'd like to encourage you to support handmade art. It doesn't have to be expensive, and they are one-of-a-kind gifts. So much to love about that.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
New Question and New Card
Earlier this week I did my tag for *e*'s 42nd question, What is your favorite holiday? Well, duh, I do love Christmas in spite of the fact it occurs in the winter. I love how that holiday takes people off of themselves and into the practice of caring for and about others. The presents aren't bad either, but the season brings a kind of quiet and sense of outward peace that I don't feel at other times of the year.
And isn't it funny, my archetype card this morning was The Teacher.
I think it's hilarious that within days I've pulled both Student and Teacher. So the shadow attributes are, "manipulating or abusing students; teaching negative traits and destructive skills". In my past I have taught creative writing and stained glass courses and I often see myself teaching again but I'm not sure what. I don't think we need to be an expert to teach a subject, just have a healthy interest in it and an open spirit of sharing because true teaching is also learning from your students. I think as parents we all assume the role of teacher and personally the shadow side speaks to me about being a better example to my son about how to roll with the punches and, for lack of a better metaphor make more and sweeter lemonade. Some days it's hard because I'm human, but I'm working on that by sitting under my bodhi tree more often.
And isn't it funny, my archetype card this morning was The Teacher.
I think it's hilarious that within days I've pulled both Student and Teacher. So the shadow attributes are, "manipulating or abusing students; teaching negative traits and destructive skills". In my past I have taught creative writing and stained glass courses and I often see myself teaching again but I'm not sure what. I don't think we need to be an expert to teach a subject, just have a healthy interest in it and an open spirit of sharing because true teaching is also learning from your students. I think as parents we all assume the role of teacher and personally the shadow side speaks to me about being a better example to my son about how to roll with the punches and, for lack of a better metaphor make more and sweeter lemonade. Some days it's hard because I'm human, but I'm working on that by sitting under my bodhi tree more often.
All that glitters is not gold
And all that is orange is not pumpkins at this time of year. Look at these chinese lanterns I pulled out of someone's trash bin this morning:
Yes I am a garbage picker and proud of it. I'm hoping to enjoy these for a little while then save the seeds. Obviously if a neighbor could grow them, I can too. Black thumb and all, I will see if I can't grow me some orange for next Halloween.
Yes I am a garbage picker and proud of it. I'm hoping to enjoy these for a little while then save the seeds. Obviously if a neighbor could grow them, I can too. Black thumb and all, I will see if I can't grow me some orange for next Halloween.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Don Juanita
The card I pulled from my archetype deck today was Don Juan.
The shadow side of this says, "Using the power of romantic attraction for private agendas". And oh yes, I have. Not recently, not that I am aware of. But frequently in my late teens and twenties, often enough in my early thirties. Much, much less so in my forties. Maybe it's the benefit of age that has tempered that in me. But it has got me thinking about my attitude towards sexism. Do I expect a man to give me his seat on the bus? It's never going to happen, but that might be because of the selfish age we are moving through. I think in those kind of instances such as giving up a seat for someone who might need it more or holding the door open, it comes down to common courtesy.
I do have a bone to pick with the MAN (it must have been a man) who decided to instill daylight savings time on the population. I am just so dang tired these last few days. Turning the clocks back is supposed to give us one more hour of sleep but I ask you, do you know a woman who, in a busy house, is the one who got that extra hour of sleep? Kids don't really respond to it unless they are teenagers. I know it's only an hour but not only am I dragging in energy, I'm hungry all-the-time. There's me visiting the Don Juanita in me.
The shadow side of this says, "Using the power of romantic attraction for private agendas". And oh yes, I have. Not recently, not that I am aware of. But frequently in my late teens and twenties, often enough in my early thirties. Much, much less so in my forties. Maybe it's the benefit of age that has tempered that in me. But it has got me thinking about my attitude towards sexism. Do I expect a man to give me his seat on the bus? It's never going to happen, but that might be because of the selfish age we are moving through. I think in those kind of instances such as giving up a seat for someone who might need it more or holding the door open, it comes down to common courtesy. I do have a bone to pick with the MAN (it must have been a man) who decided to instill daylight savings time on the population. I am just so dang tired these last few days. Turning the clocks back is supposed to give us one more hour of sleep but I ask you, do you know a woman who, in a busy house, is the one who got that extra hour of sleep? Kids don't really respond to it unless they are teenagers. I know it's only an hour but not only am I dragging in energy, I'm hungry all-the-time. There's me visiting the Don Juanita in me.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Dark Days
As promised, I have been contemplating The Dark. It's something I can't pretend isn't happening, can't deny it doesn't affect me in ways I wish I would resist. So instead of trying to ignore it, I'm going to embrace it, explore it and try to scrounge around on the bottom of it. I am just forgetful enough that it's not safe for me to light candles on a regular basis; bringing more physical light into my world is not what I'm looking for this year. I want to use this time to see what The Dark can offer me, what its influence can bring in so that I can stop dreading this season and start using it to see the parts of myself that are often "in the dark". Yesterday I read Robert Munsch's, "The Dark", looking for metaphors. I read it through a couple of times, seeing different things and ending up with a children's story that is a delight to them because the protagonist is a child. Jule-Ann saves the day from the dark. Lovely and yes, I could have read into it that if we let it, The Dark will feed off of the darkness around us and grow until it covers our sky and turns our metaphorical days into nights.
I also dug out my deck of Caroline Myss' Archetype cards, shuffled them and chose this one randomly:
I can relate to this, I do feel like an eternal student, like the light attributes of the card says, "an openness to lifelong learning". I love discovering new things, jumping in with both feet and often taking on more courses than I can logically handle because they all inspire me and I feel like I don't want to miss out. One of the shadow attributes that stuck out for me was, "unwillingness to translate knowledge into action". I wonder, "do I do that?" Do I take my knowledge far enough so that it does transpose into action? Maybe not. Taking so many classes means I short change myself, I don't give myself enough time to work the lessons in different ways, letting mistakes happen without getting thoroughly discouraged by them. I take what I consider to be failures to heart. But I do move on, find more classes to jump into. I think I need to examine my student attitude and see if I can't bring what I learn more fully into my life and my art.
I also dug out my deck of Caroline Myss' Archetype cards, shuffled them and chose this one randomly:
I can relate to this, I do feel like an eternal student, like the light attributes of the card says, "an openness to lifelong learning". I love discovering new things, jumping in with both feet and often taking on more courses than I can logically handle because they all inspire me and I feel like I don't want to miss out. One of the shadow attributes that stuck out for me was, "unwillingness to translate knowledge into action". I wonder, "do I do that?" Do I take my knowledge far enough so that it does transpose into action? Maybe not. Taking so many classes means I short change myself, I don't give myself enough time to work the lessons in different ways, letting mistakes happen without getting thoroughly discouraged by them. I take what I consider to be failures to heart. But I do move on, find more classes to jump into. I think I need to examine my student attitude and see if I can't bring what I learn more fully into my life and my art.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Q41
*e*'s 41st question was, "When you close your eyes and imagine yourself as passionate, giddy, inspired and joyful ...what are you doing/creating in that moment?" I've been following Karen's photoshop tutorials and recently she posted one on blocking and writing in text so I gave it a whirl, then I fiddled a little more with photoshop for a few cool effects. I really would like to find the time to learn this program properly instead of wasting so many hours trying to figure out how some basic things work.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Halloween
Yup, it's almost here. I am putting the finishing touches on Riley's costume. Last year he wanted to be the chihuahua "Chloe" from the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua, so I got a white sweat suit, attached some chihuahua ears, added a faux diamond necklace, did some face paint and voila! This year he wants to be "Bolt" from the movie by the same name. I was glad to recycle the white sweat suit, I've just finished changing the ears, he has made the collar and the side lightening bolt. More face paint and voila!
I have nothing against store bought costumes but when I was growing up, they didn't exist. Maybe they existed in other more affluent neighborhoods but in mine all the costumes were home made. I remember my mother usually choosing what I would dress up as, which I can understand now because it meant she would know how to put it together. The one year that really stands out for me was the year she decided I would go as Aunt Jemima. I was horrified at the thought, I don't remember why, but in the end it snowed on the night of the 31st and the costume was adapted into a gypsy one since the black face would have run in the bad weather. I feel now it was my mother's presence in my life that was the important part of the night, as I hope my own son remembers the same one day. The rules of the night are all the same, though. No apples, no unwrapped candy, parents inspection before any eating. We lived in an apartment building until I was 9, so a group of kids in the building would do the rounds from the third floor down to the basement, then my father would take us over to the next building and wait outside for us while we did the rounds then. I was happy to hear the police were at Riley's school yesterday, handing out Unicef boxes and talking about safety. Things like that go down much easier when it's not me talking to him about it. I often wonder just how much of what I say he absorbs - often times somethings I would rather he not absorb. But when he tells me how to keep safe I know he knows.
Chloe (stay tuned for Bolt):
I have nothing against store bought costumes but when I was growing up, they didn't exist. Maybe they existed in other more affluent neighborhoods but in mine all the costumes were home made. I remember my mother usually choosing what I would dress up as, which I can understand now because it meant she would know how to put it together. The one year that really stands out for me was the year she decided I would go as Aunt Jemima. I was horrified at the thought, I don't remember why, but in the end it snowed on the night of the 31st and the costume was adapted into a gypsy one since the black face would have run in the bad weather. I feel now it was my mother's presence in my life that was the important part of the night, as I hope my own son remembers the same one day. The rules of the night are all the same, though. No apples, no unwrapped candy, parents inspection before any eating. We lived in an apartment building until I was 9, so a group of kids in the building would do the rounds from the third floor down to the basement, then my father would take us over to the next building and wait outside for us while we did the rounds then. I was happy to hear the police were at Riley's school yesterday, handing out Unicef boxes and talking about safety. Things like that go down much easier when it's not me talking to him about it. I often wonder just how much of what I say he absorbs - often times somethings I would rather he not absorb. But when he tells me how to keep safe I know he knows.
Chloe (stay tuned for Bolt):
Daylight Saving Time
Here was my sunrise...at 8:05 a.m.!
Yes, it was lovely. But come off it! EIGHT A.M.!!! At the same time I'm not a fan of daylight saving time, even if it means an extra hour of sleep for one night and earlier sunrises. It's the end of the day that it becomes so much more noticeable. Early morning hours are rushing to get out the door, to the school bus, to my own bus that what's the difference if it's light or dark. I want more light at the end of the day, when I'm more active and conscious. Now with November looming - because it does loom in my world - I'm trying to change that all around. I'm going to try to do a "Celebrate Darkness" month. I'm not sure what just yet, but I'm working on it.
Yes, it was lovely. But come off it! EIGHT A.M.!!! At the same time I'm not a fan of daylight saving time, even if it means an extra hour of sleep for one night and earlier sunrises. It's the end of the day that it becomes so much more noticeable. Early morning hours are rushing to get out the door, to the school bus, to my own bus that what's the difference if it's light or dark. I want more light at the end of the day, when I'm more active and conscious. Now with November looming - because it does loom in my world - I'm trying to change that all around. I'm going to try to do a "Celebrate Darkness" month. I'm not sure what just yet, but I'm working on it.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Morning Frost
A few frosty shots from my morning walk. Yesterday's rain turned to snow, then back to rain before it all faded to black. I spent a little time in the shed last night digging out the rock salt and the ecologically green stair de-icer. I braved the cobwebs, glad I only had a flashlight to see around me, but I was grateful because this morning both front and back stairs were a sheet of ice. Yes, it is too soon for all this. I'm hoping next Saturday will be dry and a little milder for all the kiddies out and doing the rounds.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Living Large
One of our homework assignments in Patti Digh/David Robinson's LIAV telecoaching class was to do some rock balancing as an exercise to be fully present in our lives. For almost two months now I have looked for the opportunity to do this and it's a lot harder than it looks. My Tuesday morning walk down by the water netted this photo:
And this detail:
Larger than life, three formations of rocks balanced. It wasn't me who did it, but it really threw me for a loop. In September I had sat on the same shore, attempting to balance a handful of small rocks, my best attempt made a pile about two inches high. I didn't see any larger rocks even though they were right under my nose. In the spirit of Patti's writing, and in the spirit of being open, I took this to mean that I need to start thinking large. It's time to let all possibilities in, especially the grandiose and the impossible. I had a very vivid daydream a few weeks ago, something else that knocked me for a loop and I knew it would be a pivotal point in my growth. I need to realize that dream. Over at Beth's place at Be Yourself, she was talking this week about choosing her word for the coming year. Last year my word was "peace", this next year my word is "dream". I am going to dream big.
And this detail:
Larger than life, three formations of rocks balanced. It wasn't me who did it, but it really threw me for a loop. In September I had sat on the same shore, attempting to balance a handful of small rocks, my best attempt made a pile about two inches high. I didn't see any larger rocks even though they were right under my nose. In the spirit of Patti's writing, and in the spirit of being open, I took this to mean that I need to start thinking large. It's time to let all possibilities in, especially the grandiose and the impossible. I had a very vivid daydream a few weeks ago, something else that knocked me for a loop and I knew it would be a pivotal point in my growth. I need to realize that dream. Over at Beth's place at Be Yourself, she was talking this week about choosing her word for the coming year. Last year my word was "peace", this next year my word is "dream". I am going to dream big.
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