Sunday, December 14, 2008

I Channel My Father

Lately I have been finding myself channeling my father. One of his better attributes was being in a sickeningly good mood first thing in the morning. He was a happy early riser, a shower-singer. And couldn't stand to see anyone sleep in. For as long as I lived under his roof, the only times I was allowed to sleep in was when I was sick. All the other days of the year he would come in my room (no matter what age I was), pull back my covers and whip up the window blind singing something like, "it's a beautiful day!" Or "rise and shine!" Or "you're wasting the whole day!" He would stay in that mood until around 11:00 a.m.

Now I often find myself simply giddy with being alive. I like waking up, even at the cold and dark hour of 5:00 a.m. which is when my alarm is set for on weekdays. I have an hour to myself before the rest of the humans in my house get up and it makes me feel drunk. Mostly between 5 and 6 I attend to my dogs' bodily functions then work out or do yoga. But I feel like laughing, like I have a secret or a private joke. Some aspects of my life right now are really in the toilet but I still get in the shower and get that same feeling my father must have had. It's unexplainable. I just want to sing. About having this moment, this one free wheeling ride. And lucky for me it lasts long past 11:00 a.m. At the end of the day I look forward to getting in a hot bath with my book, climbing into bed and journaling, taking some silent time before sleep. I'm still not sure how I got here, but I like it. I think I'll stay.

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