Tuesday, July 28, 2009

H is for Hormones

My hormones have taken over my brain. WTF? Why does this have to be such a long, drawn-out process? You would think that after decades - nay, centuries - the remarkable female body would have found a more efficient way to ovulate or not ovulate, as the case may be. Not even pounds of chocolate, the sprouting of the traditional monthly twig-like chin hair or the tantrums of impatience can hurry this event along. Menopause? I'm going to embrace it with open arms, throw a huge and very elaborate party and burn my leftover tampons in a great ceremonial fire and dance on the ashes.

4 comments:

sherry lee said...

I love that you are looking ahead! :) Even minus the hormones there are body shifts in menopause (blah!) but at least the fluctuations in mood and overall body chemistry have settled.

Snap said...

I laughed at loud ... ah, the memories! :D :D :D (My menopause was surgical at the age of 45 ... wam bam thank you mam ......)

beth said...

that's the kind of party I plan on having, too...and oh....these hot flashes are just too much for me to handle...

and now I totally understand what others have been complaining about all this time !

Kim Mailhot said...

I think that sounds like a perfect plan !!! The men in our lives will probably run away in terror when we mention the event, but screw them and their wimpy andropause !!!! Let's dance around that tampon fire and celebrate that we made it through without killing anyone (at least most of us !). You are a pioneer for me, Kim. Just starting the peri stuff a little at 43, but I think I will be in for a ugly ride if my mental PMS is any indication ! I am an expert fire starter if you ever need me ! ;)