I'm feeling just a wee bit guilty and wondering if there has been a little too much hype about mother's day in my son's life this year. Coming out of music class this morning he said he wished his dad was around. I told him that next time he comes home that he'll be here for a long time, the whole summer even. To which he said, "yeah but I wish he was around to help me with tomorrow". I think he's got all kinds of things planned because he keeps bringing up Mother's Day and yes, I might deserve all of it, but I just wish he didn't feel the stress. He brought something home from school on Thursday in a big bag and has hidden it behind this little barricade.
See that piece of green paper taped up on the right side? On it there is a drawing of me, with a line through it from corner to corner - meaning "Mom's not allowed behind the barricade".
His father called tonight and he went off in a corner to whisper into the phone, listening to some prompts, I'm sure. And all day he kept saying to me that tomorrow I get to do whatever I want. I'm afraid he's scared he's going to be left - left behind, left out. I'm not sure what. Why is it so hard for me to accept the adulation, too? Good questions. It amazes me how he can make me laugh so hard and still weep with sadness over the very same subject.
December Daily – 11
7 hours ago